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How Zoe Sugg’s YouTube Fame Caused Her Anxiety to Become Worse Than Ever

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Zoe Sugg has always been open about her struggles with an anxiety disorder, something she was diagnosed with at just 14 years old, but her “last proper chat about it was in 2012,” meaning that fans haven’t gotten a true update in quite some time. The 26-year-old recently “spent hours writing an epic anxiety update” on her blog, and boy was she not kidding.

As Zoella’s YouTube channel grew, she found herself being more and more consumed by her mental illness.

“Life turned 180 degrees. Everything moved SO QUICKLY. Some weeks I’d feel on top of the world, and other weeks I would be rocking back and fourth in tears on a train on my own on my way to London to film something. Although I never really talked in depth about my anxiety and the rise of my channel at the time, it was something that was extremely challenging to balance. Knowing I could stay at home and not run the risk of a panic attack, or pushing myself because I WANTED TO DO IT. The amount of times I’ve stood outside my own launch events crying and struggling to breathe and not being able to step back inside (let alone other people’s). The torture I’d put myself through trying to sit through my brother’s film at his premier, something I wanted so desperately to sit and enjoy with every bone in my body and my mind just wouldn’t let me. The book signings and meet and greets that required all my mental strength to get through without ruining the experience for anyone by me having to run off. Even something as simple as shopping in my local supermarket became something I was nervous to do alone in case someone stopped me for a photo. Suddenly the little things I never had to worry about, were big things and with my channel still growing, I knew these would need to be tackled head on.”

After “the bad moments” became “particularly awful…around the end of 2014,” she was finally fed up and ready to get help. It was then that Zoe began seeing a therapist starting working very hard to understand her anxiety and not give it the power to consume her.

Now, two years later, the British beauty says she and her family and friends notice a significant change in her overall happiness.

“My therapist recently asked me what percentage of my daily thoughts are consumed with anxiety. Even a year ago, I would have said at least 50-65 percent and now it’s more like 15-20 percent…I can’t even express to you in words how happy I am that I decided to make that change.”

We are SO proud of you, Zoe!

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While Zoe is perhaps the most known beauty guru with anxiety, these other YT stars struggle, too:

Quiz: Which YouTube Beauty Guru is Your Style Twin?