Longtime Battle with Depression Causes Internet Star to Quit YouTube

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Yousef Erakat, better known as FouseyTUBE on YouTube, has always been open with his millions of subscribers about his life-long battle with depression and anxiety, so when the 27-year-old didn’t upload a video on either of his channels for almost six months, fans were very concerned. Sure, the YouTuber had taken brief breaks in the past, but nothing to the extent of this departure — something was obviously wrong. Turns out, they were right.

Fousey returned to YT yesterday and explained to his followers that he was in an extremely low place in his life, which caused him to leave his management team, cut ties with his agent and stop making videos.

“I quit on myself,” he explained. “I had lost my ‘why.’ […] And I no longer had a purpose.”

The YouTuber said he was “waiting” and “praying” for answers, and eventually realized the “thing [he] was yearning for more than anything was love inside [himself].”

“Every single day I chose not to pick up this camera [was] because I’m terrified. I’m terrified about what the world has to say about me. I’m terrified about how people perceive me and I’m terrified of people’s opinions. I’m terrified of reading anything about myself because I lost so much sense of who I am as a person that everything I started believing is what I read.”

But while he still is “broken,” he wants to “rid [himself] of that fear” and get back to his passion for making other people happy.

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