Trisha Paytas Attempted Suicide Months Ago and Hid it From Everyone

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Before Trisha Paytas released the music video for her song “Silence” yesterday, she warned fans that it was “really heavy,” “hit home hard [and] definitely [was] a tough story to tell.” Turns out, the vid was actually based on true events, as the YouTube star attempted suicide back in April, but didn’t tell anyone until now.

According to the 29-year-old, who has battled mental illness her whole life, her emotions following her breakup with Sean van der Wilt, the end of some friendships, etc., felt like too much to handle. She said she never had suicidal thoughts in the past, but suddenly became overwhelmed with thoughts of taking her own life. Things got particularly bad on one night a couple months ago, and she decided to mix sleeping pills with alcohol

“I thought, ‘Well, I’m not intentionally gonna kill myself; I’m gonna just drift to sleep like before and I’ll wake up and it’ll be fine,’ she explained. “Meanwhile, in my heart [I was] hoping I wouldn’t.”

The next thing Trisha remembers is “waking up in the hospital with a complete stranger” next to her. Apparently, she had contacted a bunch of people on Tinder earlier in the night and one actually showed up at her house, probably looking for a hookup. He saw her unconscious on the floor, picked her up and took her to the hospital to receive medical treatment.

While the blonde no longer talks to the person she credits with saving her life, she believes it was god’s way of telling her she belongs on this planet and it was not her time to go. Trisha is also now taking medication that “stabilizes [her] mind” and is helping her battle depression and anxiety.

Help is out there, no matter what.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

Trisha Paytas is just one YouTube star who is living with bipolar disorder: