11 Vomit-Worthy Things Miley Cyrus Has Dared to Lick in Public
Miley Cyrus is not easily frightened. We know she’s not scared of giving super-shocking performances; not scared of arguing with her fellow celebrities; and we know, with certainty, that Miley Cyrus is not particularly afraid of germs. We figured out that last one when Miley launched her licking spree all the way back in 2013, when she unleashed her now-legendary “Wrecking Ball” music video upon the world. (You could say it came in like… never mind.)
In fact, ever since she stopped tonguing Liam Hemsworth, Miley’s kinda just started tonguing whatever else is around. Earlier this month, she made headlines for licking a piano — for charity, mind you — but that’s far from the grossest item Miley’s tasted. Her tongue has made surprise appearances at parties, awards shows, bathrooms… the list goes on. And we’ve collected the top 11 most repulsive things Miley’s licked for the cameras ’cause, in the words of Katy Perry, “God knows where that tongue has been. We don’t know! That tongue is so infamous!”
1. A man dressed as a giant baby — You can’t unsee this picture. For those who are struggling to make sense of it, it is, in fact, Miley making out with a man wearing a giant deformed baby head. It first emerged on Twitter, so it’s still unknown where exactly Miley was when this horrific encounter occurred. Even worse? She was still engaged to Liam at the time. Honestly, maybe this shot was the final deal-breaker.
2. A penis cake — BACKSTORY: Miley presented a gigantic brown penis cake to Liam at his 22nd birthday party. She then proceeded to pose with it for photographers. (It was so inapprops, we couldn’t even post it!) Was this cake a surprise gift? Why was it dark brown when Liam is, of course, very white? Were Liam’s parents there??? So. Many. Questions.
3. A fake horse head — So… Miley has a thing for people wearing creepy masks? She was all over this rubber horse head back in Borgore‘s “Decisions” music video. If there were a law against violating fake animals, Miley would definitely be behind bars. Remember those giant twerking bears at the VMAs? Or maybe it’s better to just not remember.
4. A slug — Ugh, really? Earlier this year, Miley posted this Instagram describing a wilderness outing she took with her brother and several top biologists and authors. Her caption claims that the crew encouraged her to lick a slug, but we have trouble believing that renowned scientists would be like, “Hey Miley, lick this slug.”
5. A fan’s thigh (and other various body parts) — Fans who were lucky enough to meet Miley during the Bangerz Tour got a very… interactive experience. The photos from Miley’s meet-and-greets show her getting up close and personal with her biggest fanatics. She’s licked everything from their thighs to their faces. One male fan asked her to be his “first and last kiss with a girl” — and she happily obliged! We love that Miley goes all out during her meet-and-greets. Some stars just stand there and barely smile for the photo (*cough* Justin Bieber *cough*) or won’t even make physical contact with fans (AVRIL LAVIGNE), so it’s definitely appreciated when stars actually engage with the people who paid to meet them. Miley just likes to give ’em a bang for their buck.
6. Her backup dancer’s butt — Oh, the things Miley’s backup dancers have seen. There are probably some permanent scars from the Bangerz Tour. Miley loves to mess with her dancers on stage. (She made out with one mid-song a few months ago!) They’ve been dealing with her antics for years now. During her infamous 2013 VMA performance, Miley got up particularly intimate with one of her dancer’s butts. News outlets reported that she did, in fact, lick it, despite the lack of contact in this GIF:
7. An Abraham Lincoln doll — During one of her stints on Saturday Night Live, she desecrated a large figurine of the 16th President because, you know, humor.
8. An over-sized Barbie — Of course, Honest Abe wasn’t the first doll Miley laid her tongue on. The “We Can’t Stop” music vid is full of Miley licking, twerking and committing sentence-structure crimes. (Don’t use “we run things, things don’t run we” in your next English paper.) At one point, she dips into a pool to sensually caress and make out with an over-sized Barbie doll. Maybe she was just trying to brush up on her kissing ~*sKiLLs*~?
9. A sledgehammer — Hands down, the most intense lick any human has ever given a sledgehammer. And this particular one is extra dirty! She couldn’t have rinsed it off before noshing on it? We respect your commitment to the art, Miley, but nobody would have objected if you’d quickly scrubbed this thing with a Clorox wipe.
10. A chain — The sledgehammer was one of two things Miley forced us to watch her lick in “Wrecking Ball.” The other was the chain attached to the aforementioned ball. Not a visual we needed, TBH.
11. Her own reflection in the bathroom mirror — Of all the things Miley’s licked, this one might gross us out the most. First of all, it’s a literal bathroom mirror. Who knows what substances are stuck to the surface? And secondly, after tonguing so many objects, there’s something extra awful about Miley staring at that same mouth in the mirror and licking it. It’s like the inception of disgusting tongue activity.