10 Struggles of Finding a Halloween Costume That’s Not Sexy
Finding a Halloween costume is tough enough without having to worry about being overly sexy if you don’t want to be. Too bad that’s a constant struggle, since we live in a world where costume designers love to tack “sexy” in front of ordinary costumes and sell only them. Which, of course, causes a unique set of struggles for the girl who doesn’t want to be sexy for Halloween:
1. Not even knowing where to start looking. “Do I just type in ‘normal halloween costumes’ on Amazon and hope for the best?”
2. Learning that practically every costume on sale is sexy. Ahh, so that’s why you didn’t know where to look. Because there is almost nowhere to look.
3. Having to wear a costume meant for kids is a real possibility. Fingers crossed they at least come in your size.
4. Or a literal potato sack. 🙁
5. Not knowing what to ask salespeople when you’re shopping. “Do you have, umm… a not sexy Spongebob costume, or is this bikini version the only option?”
6. As a last resort, considering just DIYing something more modest. But then realizing how much work that would take and being like, “nah.”
7. Finding super-detailed ones that cost a million dollars. “Oh, wonderful. I’ll just reach into my empty wallet to retrieve my debit card which is connected to my empty bank account!”
8. Being the odd one out in your friends’ Halloween pictures. You are, after all, the only warm one there. Zing!
9. Likely having tons of props and nowhere to put them. Why don’t Halloween parties have a cubby section like kindergarten classrooms?
10. Feeling like you’re breaking Mean Girls rules. But being okay with that because it was slut shame-y, anyway.