The 10 Stages of Instagramming a Selfie
Posting a selfie on Instagram may look simple to amateurs, but every pro-selfie taker knows that there are a lot of steps in the process. Unless you happen to be unrealistically gorgeous like a Beckham kid, in which case, your process is probably a lot more cut-and-dried. But the rest of us are familiar with these ten steps that go into getting the perfect selfie every time:
1. Find the perfect lighting. In that moment, we’re all professional photographers.
2. Take 1,000 versions of the same picture. For back-up, or something.
3. Narrow it down to a few. Fail at doing that, forcing you to…
4. Send a bunch to your BFF and make them choose. It’s what you keep them around for.
5. Spend forever choosing a filter. You have to find the balance between tan, not orange, and not-cartoon-y.
6. Think about just re-taking the selfie altogether. It’s not your fault that you hate all of the filters.
7. Start to hate the picture because you’ve looked at it for too long. Ugh.
8. Consider uploading, but decide to wait for Prime Liking Hours. It’s the difference between double-digit likes and sad non-numeric ones. Speaking of which…
9. Spend another forever choosing a caption. It has to be the perfect storm of moodiness, coolness, and casualness.
10. Pretend not to care about how many likes you get. But you’re secretly waiting for like number 11 to come and save the day.