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10 of the Worst Lessons You Could Take Away from Spongebob Squarepants

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Despite the love we have for many favorites, like Lizzie McGuire and Boy Meets World, that doesn’t mean there aren’t bad lessons to be learned from each of ’em; that proves to be the case for certain Nickelodeon cartoons, too — like Spongebob Squarepants

1. Tanning is cool. New and tanned character Craig praises Spongebob for his commitment to darker — and far crispier — skin after Patrick accidentally leaves him literally baking under a lamp for hours: “This young man… This young, hero, should be praised for his dedication to “tan-liness”. If you guys are feeling it, we should all follow in his footsteps. Frankie, crank it up!” FYI, ‘crank it up’ refers to the lights shining on everyone during their tan people party.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

2. Neglect your pets for toys. “Have you seen this snail?” That’s what Spongebob’s left asking all around town after ditching Gary for a paddle ball challenge. In the middle of the sponge’s attempts, Gary finds his food bowl empty, and confronts his owner — except Spongebob’s too preoccupied with an obviously more important task. It’s only when Gary leaves that Mr. Squarepants realizes what a terrible mistake he made.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

3. Pesky neighbor is showering you with too much affection? Just get a restraining order. Spongebob’s one of the most annoying creatures ever, but there’s a right and wrong way to handle him; Squidward opts for the wrong way. He tried moving away from his current home, which is next door to Spongebob, but that didn’t work out. But what about changing jobs? It’s not like Squidward actually enjoys working at the Krusty Krab. Rather than find another form of employment, though, he stays where he’s at, and issues a restraining order against his neighbor/co-worker. Umm… they have to stand, like, two feet apart.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

4. How to use bad words. The Parents Television Council and fans were not impressed with the episode titled “Sailor Mouth,” which seemingly promotes and satirizes the use of vulgar language. Although no specific terms are used — the show simply used oceanic sounds in place of where the expressions would be — the point comes across more than clear.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

5. OMPorn! Yes, this actually happened:

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

6. You gotta beat others up to be popular. Spongebob’s rejected by the Salty Spittoon sailor club because he’s not tough enough. Instead, the bouncer suggests that he visit Weenie Hut Jr. The only way inside: prove his toughness — by hurting someone else.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

7. Laugh at other people’s expense. Spongebob and Patrick go on a pranking spree, fooling Bikini Bottom residents into believing that they’re ghosts due to a special invisibility spray. The two get into a fit of giggles, torturing their fellow community members. But when the spray wears off, Mr. Krabs showcases “live, nude pranksters” to the town.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

8. Consume to the point of waking up the next morning with a bad headache and stumbling into work spouting rude things about your boss. Alcohol’s replaced by ice cream, but still… Watch the uncomfortable-ness unfold here.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

9. Poor lookout on body image. Spongebob says to Patrick, “If you’re so concerned about not having a nose, why don’t you just get a new one stitched on to your face.” So, rather than help his friend accept the body he was given, he immediately jumps to plastic surgery. And that’s exactly what Patrick does (for a short while).

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

10. Stereotyping. Because Sandy’s not a sea critter, but a squirrel from Texas, Spongebob makes fun of her through some cruel jokes. This leads the rest of the town to pull away from Miss Cheeks: “Don’t stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You’ll catch its stupid.”

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon

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