10 Signs You Aren’t a Cat Person. Like, At All.
It’s a hard knock life for dog people in this world. Everyplace you turn, there’s a cat person going on and on about how awesome their cat is, what with their death screeches and mock-disemboweling. But you just don’t see it, and you don’t think you ever will. Because, if agreeing with all ten of these surefire signs is any indication (and it is), you just aren’t a cat person. BTW, Happy National Cat Day.
1. You squee at puppy videos, not kitten ones. Sucks to suck, baby cats.
2. You can tell that someone has a cat the second you get to their house. Usually your constant sneezing and swollen eyes give it away.
3. You don’t understand how such loners could make a good pet. Where’s all the looove? No tackles when you walk through the door, like dogs do? Such a sad life.
4. You hate that there are only clothes with cute cat sayings. This is an INJUSTICE.
5. You’re a minority on the internet. And you’ve kept your unpopular opinion to yourself to avoid a heated debate.
6. Their claws terrify you. You know that it’s inhumane to de-claw cats. But it’s also pretty messed up that they use your arms as scratching posts, too.
7. You’d pick walking your dog any day over having your cat’s poop live in your house with you. Explain yourselves, cat people.
8. Cat purrs sort of freak you out. Where is that lion-like noise even originating?
9. You find them to be so smug. It’s something about their flawlessly-winged eyeliner that is actually just their natural eyes.
10. They smell badly to you all of the time. How do cat people not smell their stinky cats??? Some dogs smell badly too, but at least they don’t spazz when you put them in the bath.