A YouTube Star’s Been Battling a Mental Disorder for Years & You Had No Idea

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Ryan Abe (RyansAverageLife) made a name for himself by posting funny skits and hilarious challenges on YouTube. While the 26-year-old opens up about his personal life (he’s talked extensively about losing his mom to cancer when he was younger) quite frequently, he’s never discussed something that affects him every day — mental illness.

In addition to having “very bad anxiety,’ Ryan also has “really bad OCD,” or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, “a common, chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.”

“I’ve always had really bad OCD and when I was younger I used to be so crazy mentally…If my mom was out, if I didn’t open a magazine…to the 27th page and read the article that was on the page…in under 20 seconds, I thought my mom would die. Insane, right? I don’t know why,” he explained.

While Ryan’s compulsions have gotten better with age, he still pulls his eyelashes out when he gets anxious. The 26-year-old is now in therapy in hopes of getting his mental instability under control, but most importantly realizes he isn’t “crazy” or “insane.”

“I really felt like opening up to you guys,” he wrote in the description of the video. “I hope you can enjoy my honesty here cause my mental health issues have always been something that made me feel super weak. Let’s help each other together.”

“I used be be afraid that I felt different…[but] I’m starting to be okay with [my vulnerability].”

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