16 of the Pettiest Things That Happened in 2016
Delete your account. https://t.co/Oa92sncRQY
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 9, 2016
Let’s talk about being petty, shall we? You know, that thing when — as Urban Dictionary defines it — “someone takes a small subject and blows it out of proportion.” Like, wildly out of proportion. Alice-in-Wonderland–down-the-rabbit-hole kind of out of proportion. It is my very favorite state of being, though I’m not quite sure why. Terms like “savage,” “shade” and “slay” — petty’s siblings — have lost most of their originally intended effect for me, which is mostly due to a near-constant use of those terms in the media and subsequent lack of any real meaning. Being petty, though? That stays great, I guess, because it is easy to glean satisfaction from watching people 00 usually the rich, popular, famous ones, as they have both the most and least to lose at all times — doing their best to blow as many things out of proportion as possible.
Now, is this obsession a distraction from the overwhelmingly dark, oppressive nature of the current state of the world? It sure is, but I’ll take my bread and circuses wherever and whenever I can get them, thanks. So, let us all assume that, if there is one thing to celebrate this year — other than the memes and the tweets, of course — it is probably the pervasive sense of deep, deep pettiness that bolstered our spirits and helped carry us all through 2016. So, to get you through these last few weeks, here is a retrospective look at the pettiest moments of 2016, God bless.