Why We Want Justin and Selena To Go Public (An Open Letter)
We know Selena told the press that you two are “just friends” who like to “hang out” and blah blah blah. But the jig is up. You love each other, and there’s no hiding it after the pictures of you “teasing and laughing and skipping around” Miami together. And while that kinda crushes our dreams of dating you, Bieber, we’re O.K. with it. If you’re going to date someone else, it might as well be Selena. Here’s why:
#1. You are the only stars who have a chance with each other. You’re bound to be the next Brangelina… but younger, more sane, and with fewer kids. Because if you don’t have a shot with each other, no one does.
#2. You are both ridiculously photogenic, which makes every single paparazzi picture look like a professional photoshoot.
#3. Not just anyone can fill the lonely void left by Zanessa, but you two totally fit the bill. (Unfairly attractive, check. International fame, check. Bank accounts larger than most banks, check.)
#4. You already have a couple name. (BTW: you’re welcome.) “Justina” is SO going to happen.
#5. You can duet on a love song. It’ll shoot straight to number one within a matter of hours, not because the song will be so outstanding (not that we’d doubt you) but just because of who you are.
#6. You can share clothes because you are literally the exact same size — unfortunate because Selena can no longer wear heels, but very fortunate because you’ll be able to swap skinny jeans.
#7. You both love the same restaurant chains. It’s a match made in IHOP.
#8. You can be home schooled together, since both of you are too busy to actually enroll in high school. And you’ll be the most popular couple at school.
#9. Neither of you have been in relationships before — at least that your very devoted fans (a.k.a. us) know about. Selena, you’re 18. Justin, you’re 16. The clock is tickin’.
So please ‘fess up, because until you do, we’ll continuously speculate about your love lives. (O.K., and after then, too.)