9 Thoughts You Have While Stalking Your Crush Online
You know how you get a brand-new crush, and the first thing you can’t wait to do is stalk them online? Of course you do! Because, honestly, there’s nothing more telling about a person than their social media presence. Well, other than actually spending time with them and learning stuff by listening intently. But who has time for that when there’s a whole Internet at your fingertips?!
So, the next time you find yourself crushing really hard on someone, we bet that these nine thoughts will definitely cross your mind:
1. “Who’s this person he’s standing with in this photo? And why isn’t it me?!”
2. “I wonder if he’s in a relationship.” Pleasebenopleasebenopleasebeno.
3. “Let me Google his name and see what comes up. If Max and Nev can track down potential Catfish with a simple search, then I can at least find out when his last relationship was.”
4. “Whatever you do, DO NOT like any of his old pictures.” A slip of the finger can cause a world-shatteringly embarrassing mistake.
5. “How is it possible for someone to be so hot?” It’s like, is he even a real person? Is this level of hotness possible or acceptable?
6. “Aww, he was so awkward 5 years ago.” So cute and endearingly strange-looking.
7. “I am such a creep, wow.” But you won’t stop, no matter how many times this thought crosses your mind.
8. “I wonder if he did anything fun today. Do we like to do the same things??? That’s crucial for the successful relationship that I’m planning right now.”
9. “Ooh, I wonder who this post is about.” Because you wouldn’t be online stalking if you weren’t a
little lot nosey.