Lily Collins Emotionally Forgives the Man Who Abandoned Her as a Child

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When you think of Lily Collins and her father, Phil, you don’t immediately think of a tumultuous relationship. The pair often posts pictures together, talks about each other, etc., but what you see on the outside doesn’t always tell the whole story. In her new book, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me, the 27-year-old actress reveals that after her parents got (messily) divorced when she was just 5 years old, the famous singer “moved from [his family’s] home in England to Switzerland, where he stayed for more than twenty years,” basically leaving his young daughter to grow up without a father.

“Because my dad was often gone, I never wanted to do anything that would make him stay away even longer,” she continued in the open letter to the 66-year-old. “I became extra careful about what I said and how I said it, afraid he’d think I was angry or didn’t love him. And the truth is, I was angry. I missed him and wanted him there. I’ve realized that many of my deepest insecurities stem from these issues with my dad. It’s taken me over a decade to resolve some of them (others I’m still resolving) and to finally build up the courage to speak my mind to him.”

Even though her dad’s absence had a HUGE impact on her life, Lily finally got to a place where she’s ready to forgive him for his actions and let him know that while they deeply hurt her, she wants to move forward.

“We all make choices and, although I don’t excuse some of yours, at the end of the day we can’t rewrite the past. I’m learning how to accept your actions and vocalize how they made me feel… I now understand that my frustrations surrounding our communication are not about changing you, but accepting you as you are. I forgive you for not always being there when I needed and for not being the dad I expected. I forgive the mistakes you made. There’s still so much time to move forward. And I want to. I’m inviting you to join me. I’ll always be your little girl.”

The actress’ book, which was released yesterday, also goes into detail about her past eating disorder, emotionally abusive relationship and much, much more.

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