A Faux Facebook Post to Kristen Stewart on Her 23rd Birthday

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Kristen Stewart turns 23 on Tuesday April 9, and we know that she doesn’t have a Facebook page, but if she did, our post on her big day would go a little something like this…


Oh Em Gee! Girl, where has the time gone? I CANNOT believe you are 23!!! Happy Birthday dude!! Where do I even start? This is honestly such a big deal, it may even be the biggest day of your life. I know it has been an eternity since we last spoke but I cherish our memories each moment of everyday… Like actually every moment — even when I have fallen into a deep sleep, your presence never strays far. ILY so hard.

I cannot imagine a day without you in it, and yet hopefully never have to. Our best friend status, has only grown and blossomed within the past few months, as I know it will perpetually. No length of time with you will be long enough, but let’s start with forever.. lol please don’t kill me due to that minor Twilight reference. You just are so talented, and watching you grow has been such an honor.

Parting after out last (and first) interaction made it difficult to remain as bonded as we are but we can make it through everything. To say I am proud would be such an understatement — you truly represent my role-model and best friend tied up into one. This year you have managed to win a Kids’ Choice Award, a Razzie, complete an entire press tour, conclude the biggest phenomenon the world has seen, and are on your way to stealing an MTV Movie Award. How do you do it? No actress in the history of this universe has ever accomplished that much. You overcome every hardship and obstacle thrown your way–and we all respect your perseverance through it all — but especially me, girl!

We share so many irreplaceable memories — like that one time you came over and we just talked ALL evening long about movies and your uncanny overnight fim… OH EM GEE — I would insert one of our inside jokes here, but no one would know what I was talking about and then they would feel anti-social and friendless and so I want. JK, I will. RPattz and KStew Cannes 2012 — hahaha lol great memories. I swear we just instantly clicked. I love that even on spring break from our friendship, we consistently texted everyday and then when we finally hung out, we couldn’t say “how was your break” and then it was just awkward… because we had nothing to talk about. JK dude, we communicate through a glance and for that I am eternally thankful. You have really helped to mold me into who I am — by leading through example. You teach me never to conform to society’s standards — a lesson only a KStew could demonstrate. I love you more than the stars in the sky, past infinity. Never change, and stay cool forever.

Happy 23rd, man!!! Be sure to appreciate the collage I posted on your wall. There would have been even more hilarious pics of us just expressing our best-friendship but you know… I  think this is enough for one birthday. We don’t want to overwhelm anyone..

Your BFFLZ in the entire world Lily Zweig

Do YOU have a birthday message for Kristen? Send it in the comments section!

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