Jersey Shore Recap: The 5 Most Ridiculously WTF Quotes from Last Night’s Ep

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Last week’s episode of Jersey Shorewas more of the same — Sammi and Ronnie were fighting. No duh. But add in some of Snooki’s boyf drama, The Situation not being able to GTL and the guidos dressing up as, um, guidos, and you’ve got yourself last night’s ep, “Fist Pumps, Push-Ups, Chapstick.”

And we’ve got ourselves some of our very fave quotes…

MORE: Photos and Pics from last week’s episode of Jersey Shore!

“I feel helpless. I can’t eat. I can’t GTL. I’m upset, man.” — The Situation
Yeah, wearing a neck brace and having a concussion is so not a good look. But since Mike brought it upon himself by slamming his head into a CONCRETE WALL, we don’t have too much sympathy. Who does that?!

“I got a big fauxhawk. I look like the guidos on TV that are trying too hard.” — Pauly
Deena decided to do Pauly’s hair, and he came out looking like a guido. Not that he doesn’t always look like a guido, but this time he looked like one that’s “trying too hard.” No comment.

“Good. Yay. I love therapy sessions.” — Sammi
Vinny decided to sit SamRon down for a little relationship advice, basically telling them that if they’re going to be together then fine, but for the roomates’ sake, they need to quit fighting. SamRon agreed. For now.

“She went from happy Snooki to sad Snooki.” — Ronnie
Snooki is having boyf problems with Jionni, who basically yells at her on the phone for getting drunk and saying stupid things. Then Ronnie decided to weigh in with his very profound commentary on the situation. Thanks, bro.

I am not in Kansas anymore.” — Deena
Deena’s in the mood for a smush sesh, so she calls up that waiter she met a few weeks back. But when she finds a hickey on his neck and he claims his sister bit him and gave it to him, she is just not having it. Gross.

Check out the pics from the ep below to see what else went down”