Jersey Shore Recap: The 5 Most Ridiculously WTF Quotes from Last Night’s Ep

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We didn’t see this one coming. Jk. We totally saw it coming in the previews for last night’s ep of Jersey Shore, “Where’s My Boyfriend?”. While Roger couldn’t visit JWoww because he couldn’t get off of work, Jionni head on over to Florence to visit Snooki — but uh, we bet Snooks kinda wish he didn’t.

We’ll explain everything in this recap, plus share our fave quotes!

“This bitch is beyond psycho and crazy. I don’t even know what to call it. You’re like a wildabeast.” — Snooki
Brittany, one of The Situation’s many grenades ladies, shows up at the house unannounced and thinks she’s wanted, so Snooki and the rest of the housemates plant her in Mike’s bed. Too bad he comes home with another girl. Now that’s a situation, ladies and gents.

“Mike’s new thing is karateing. Do you thing, Kung Fu Panda.” — Deena
Ok fine, this line really did not advance the episode’s plot whatsoever, but it was kinda hilar when Mike was doing karate chops to rev himself up for a night out. Oh, so maybe that’s how he gets the confidence to get so many chicks, eh?

“Me and Jionni are gonna have guido babies. I can’t wait to pop those suckers out.” — Snooki
Well duh, Jionni comes to visit, and all is fine and dandy at first. Jionni and Snooki head to the smush room and even make out at the club later that night, and Snooki couldn’t be happier. But then…

You can’t act like single Shnooki when you have a boyfriend. You act like girlfriend Shnooki.” — Ronnie
All hell — or shall we say, Snooki’s, um, private parts — break loose. She walks around the club with all her goods hanging out and embarrasses Jionni which, not gonna lie, we’d be pretty embarrassed if our significant other did that, too. Just sayin’, Snooks.

“This is like me and Ron. Now I get it.” — Sammi
We guess it took Sammi seeing Nicole and Jionni’s major blowout to finally realize what her and Ronnie’s fights always feel and sound like. Only took her 4 seasons. Not fun, Sam, right?!

Anyway, check out all the pics from the ep below, and let us remind you that Jionni left Italy and pretty much dumped Snooks. Poor girl: