Glee Recap: “The Only Straight I Am is Straight Up Bitch”

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We have no words for last night’s supersized, major, epic, amazing “Born This Way” ep of Glee. We mean, we have a few words, hence this recap, but like, how amazing was it!? Finally we saw some major plot advancements, Kurt back at McKinley where he belongs, and, well, who doesn’t love a mall flash mob?!

Click on for some character highlights from last night’s episode, and don’t forget to tell us your fave moment (or song! Or one-liner!) in the comments!

MORE: Listen to all the songs from “Born This Way!”

1. Rachel gets hit in the nose and contemplates getting a nose job, which is basically the basis of the entire episode. But after taking Quinn to the doctor with her (she wants her nose, obvs) where the two sung an amazing mashup of “I Feel Pretty/Unpretty,” Rach finally decides against surgery. Good choice, kiddo. Good choice.
2. Quinn is going mad petitioning herself and Finn for Prom King and Queen, as Lauren pretty much does the same for herself. But then we get a major shocker when Lauren does some digging on Quinn and we find out that her real name is Lucy, she got a nose job and used to be fat, and that she transferred schools and changed her name to get rid of her old, harped-on self. We didn’t even remotely see that one coming.
3. Emma is the one who gives Mr. Schuester the idea to do “Born This Way’ in the first place while the two love birds discuss how her OCD is getting seriously out of hand. So he sends her to a therapist who actually said she can be helped with a little medicine and a whole lot of therapy. Good. Polishing grapes can only go on for so long, right?!
4. Santana and Karofsky become fast friends, mostly because she found out he’s gay too. And after some hilarious ones liners (Santana saying “the only straight I am is straight up bitch” actually had us LOL-ing), we find out why Santana really befriends Dave — because she wants to recruit him to get Kurt back to McKinley to help her win Prom Queen. So then they create the “Bully Whip” club at school to crack down on bullying, Karofsky apologizes to Kurt, tells him Santana’s real plan and voila! The most unlikely BFFs ever are born. Can we call them Santofsky?
5. As for Kurt? He accepts Karofsky’s apology and returns to McKinley after the most amazing goodbye from Blaine and the Warblers in the history of goodbyes, sings some random show tune and then leads the rest of New Directions in singing “Born This Way.” Best. Ending. Ever.

What was your fave part of the episode? Were you shocked about Quinn’s deep, dark secret? What was your fave one-liner? We wanna know ALL of it in the comments!