Glee Recap: 5 Things That Happened at McKinley That Would Never Happen IRL

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Can we just say how much we loved the first episode of Glee last night? Uh wait, we take that back. We liked it. We think “Purple Piano Project” set us up for some really fab storylines and impressed with some amazing songs (“You Can’t Stop the Beat” from Hairspray? So good!). But every week for the rest of the season, we’ll be recapping the episodes not by the songs the gleeks sing, the lines they spew or the outfits they wear (boring!), but by what happens in the ep that would never happen in a real life high school.

Exhibit A? Blaine transferring to McKinley…

Check out the 5 most unrealistic things below, and tell us if you agree:

1. Blaine transferring from Dalton to McKinley. OK, fine, if Blaine was our boyf we’d want to spend every waking minute with him too, but we wouldn’t expect him to transfer schools to be with us. Even though Blaine claims he left Dalton for himself and not for Kurt, really? Just make out hang out after school, guys.
2. Quinn going goth. We’re all for finding yourself and whatever, but suddenly Quinn comes back from summer vacay and has pink hair and piercings (and an “ironic” Ryan Seacrest tattoo) and is hanging with her new besties, “The Skanks?” Nu uh. It doesn’t happen like that. What also doesn’t happen is Rachel going under the bleachers, begging Quinn to come back to New Directions as Quinn smokes a cig. IRL, she’d be SO scared to do that, right?!
3. Sue running for Congress. Sure, Sue has a spot on the local Ohio news, but we think her political aspirations are just a bit too high. We get that it’s a great plotline — if she wins a seat in Congress, she’ll get rid of Arts departments (like Shuester’s!) to focus more on academics — but let’s be honest here — a gym teacher has no shot in hell. There. We said it.
4. Breaking out into a song — and a food fight — in the cafeteria. Seriously how High School Musical was the scene where the glee club sang “We Got the Beat” in the middle of the caf? We get that they did it because there was a purple piano there and Schue’s assignment was to sing wherever they see one, but dancing on tables? Seriously? And also, food fights only happen in fake high schools. Are we right or are we right?
5. Kurt and Rachel rehearsing for the New York Academy of the Arts with every single other person in the Midwest who’s auditioning. We like that they showed that there are people outside of the four walls of McKinley who are just as talented (if not more?) than New Directions’ shining stars, but we found it weird that all the most talented people in the area rehearse together for their auditions. Aren’t they all each others’ competition? And aren’t there only 20 spots to get into the school? We’re confused (yet super impressed).

Oh, and just one more disclaimer: We love how they brought in new girl Sugar, who has “self-diagnosed Asperger’s,” and that Schue rejected her from glee club. Her audition sucked, so phew. Anyway, check out our fave pics from the episode below!