10 Bad Lessons You Could Take Away from Full House
We love us some Full House. Really, we do. But, just like there are surprisingly bad lessons to be learned from Lizzie McGuire, there are even more poor morals from the show starring the Olsen twins and John Stamos. And here are ten of ’em:
1. Break your parents’ stuff; a song-and-dance will get you out of it. Somehow, Danny’s completely oblivious to the fact that there’s a giant hole in his bedroom wall. And, as far as we know, he never discovers it. Instead, he’s distracted by the suck-up-to-Dad song performed by DJ and Stephanie. Pshh, if only all grown-ups were that easy, right?
2. Along the same lines, perform a romantic song for your girlfriend and all will be forgiven. This happens a lot with Jesse and Rebecca. After a big fight, he sings “Forever,” and magically they’re okay; she never makes him work for it.
3. Try and you shall NEVER succeed. Jesse attempts to be a rock star, which happens… for one whole episode; Danny’s a morning talk show host longer than Becky, yet she gets the Producer credit first; and Joey, oh Joey… He stars in an unsuccessful TV pilot, plus wasn’t he on Star Search at one point?
4. Treat people better — just in case they get hot. Danny, Jesse and Joey can’t stand Kimmy — though, usually for good reason — but after a dream sequence where she turns out to be gorgeous, all of a sudden they’re like, “Let’s be nicer to Kimmy Gibbler.”
5. Spitting water everywhere is the funniest joke ever. It’s Joey’s go-to, but when you think about it, it’s quite gross.
6. If you ever crash a car through your kitchen, plan to run away to Mexico, then no one will be mad about the damage. Rather than face the music from her father, Stephanie rushes to Becky’s house to let her know she’s leaving the country because of her mistake. When Danny finds out, he consoles his daughter rather than punishes her. It’s not like he needs to scare the girl after the ordeal, but she didn’t learn anything from it.
7. How to be a slob. Aww, so adorable. NOT.
8. This is responsible babysitting:
9. Ditch the lessons your parents taught you when they’re not within earshot. Granted, the kid Michelle’s speaking to is a bully, but still…
10. SARCASM. Teenage Michelle must’ve been a real prize.