15 Reasons Big Boobs Aren’t Cool Anymore
I'm glad Vogue has declared the cleavage over because it gives me ample time to get rid of my old boobs and get new ones from Topshop
— Holly Baxter (@h0llyb4xter) November 2, 2016
Got boobs? Interested in fashion? Sorry! Cleavage is over, apparently. This is all according to an article from British Vogue titled “Desperately Seeking Cleavage” that came out this week, in which the author, Kathleen Baird-Murray, reasons that since cleavage wasn’t as apparent on the Fashion Week runways this season, and push-up bra sales have been declining, boobs as, like, an entire concept must be out. Baird-Murray’s conclusion is this: “The tits will not be out for the lads. Or for anyone else, for that matter.” Got it!
For what it’s worth, Baird-Murray later clarified on her Twitter page that the point of her article is that designers appear to be moving towards creating “more natural, comfortable clothes,” not that any particular size of breasts are in or out. But it is also worth noting Vogue is the type of publication that might describe a $500 T-shirt as a “steal,” and once dedicated an entire week to the benefits of “skater hair,” which was opened with the question, “What draws a person to skate?” Therefore, the equally grandiose, ludicrous statement that cleavage (a.k.a. your boobs a.k.a. a part of your body) is “out” isn’t totally out of whack with its history. Still, if you are the type of person who takes everything Anna Wintour and her ilk says literally, check out these very real reasons as to why you should put your boobs way forever: