The CLOG - A Clevver Blog

Ok, so with all the people walking on the Red Carpet at the Golden Globes, why is Ryan Seacrest so damn butt hurt about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s initial passing by of him when he tried to get their attention.  Maybe they just weren’t paying any attention to you dude!!

Ok, so you got your interview….What’s the deal then?

Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus - in 5 to 10 years, these two will be the premiere ladies of Hollywood.  I mean, they’re already making a HUGE impact right now at ages 19 (Swift) and 16 (Cyrus).  A lot of media try to compare Miley Cyrus to Hillary Duff, but Cyrus is obviously way bigger than Duff was when she was on Miley’s level.  

Apparently, Swift will be borrowing Miley’s BF for one of her videos….Watch out Miley, Taylor is legal!!!

Pardon me if I come off as rude, but I thought Chevy Chase was gone….This guy is still doing his thing as an actor and apparently will be appearing in a few episodes of “Chuck” - an NBC comedy-drama.  He’s also had some guest spots on some other shows….Guess his Griswold family money finally ran out!!

So I was just thinking about how lucky Bret Micheals is to have a bunch of ladies competing to be with him, and even though most of them are pretty old, they’re still sexy and I would probably date them…but anyway, I was kind of scared when I first saw Brittanya O’ Campo because of the face piercings, but she actually is the Hottest Contestant on Rock of Love Bus!!

Wax on…wax off.  Wax on…man, don’t I wish this remake were CALLED off?

So that’s a clever way to introduce the horrible news that Hollywood’s grand train of original thinking has just had its wheels and axles stolen and sold for scrap metal.  They’re doing a remake of The Karate Kid and they’re planning to put Jackie Chan in the position of “wise teacher figure” Mr. Miyagi.

Better yet, the Daniel-san du jour?  Will Smith’s son Jaden. At the rate we’re going, by 2035, nearly every role in Hollywood will be played either by Will Smith himself or one of his steadily-growing brood of trained actor clones.

I’m at a loss for words.  Well, no, not really–it’s just that most of them involve enough profanities that broadcasting it would wind up being Tolstoy’s War and Peace in Morse code.  Suffice it to say that this is a royally stupid idea–eighties nostalgia went out of favor back in the nineties, guys.  It’s NINETIES nostalgia that’s moving now.  And carrying on with a hackeneyed, low-rent “franchise” (that never really got past the trilogy and a truly cheesy cartoon series back in the eighties) isn’t exactly the best fodder for a remake to begin with.

What costs eight point nine million dollars, has enough room to comfortably sleep five families, and is a slap in the face to working-class Americans everywhere?

The answer?  Britney Spears’ new house.

Now, excuse me while I wax anticapitalistic for a moment, but listening to the celeb news feeds fill me in on the details of Britney’s LATEST HOUSE goes down kinda hard when you consider the sheer number of people who’ve lost their houses to the housing bubble in the last year.  And hearing this peroxided princess of insanity bubble on about how much her infants “love” their ridiculously oversized new house makes my teeth grind involuntarily in sheer fury. They’re INFANTS, Britney.  They barely know where they ARE, let alone the details of that ungodly obscenity you call a house.

Why aren’t we taxing these overfed, overblown egomaniacs back to the stone age?  Or at LEAST back to the bronze one–man, Obama’s new tax plans can’t come fast enough.

Sing along!  They tried to make me go to RE-hab, I saaaaid, do you really think it’d do any good?

Amy Winehouse has apparently been indulging in her namesake drug of choice–that’s hooch for all of you what don’t habla, or WINE if you want to be nice and oblique about it–and to such a degree that she’s apparently been stealing drinks from people at the bars and nightspots of St. Lucia.

Winehouse’s bad behavior doesn’t stop at boozenapping, either–word is she’s been openly smoking joints poolside and browbeating other people into ordering her drinks.  Follow this link to a truly horrifying picture of Winehouse–or maybe we should be saying WINOhouse–wandering the streets of St. Lucia on her hands and knees.

It’s easy to make fun, but that’s just really sad.  Sad and creepy–considering that this chick just barely beat a death sentence on her liver going off like a pound of C4 in her stomach you’d think that someone, especially this “new man” she’s so wildly in love with that apparently isn’t her husband.

Folks, I just got a horrible piece of news that’ll leave you questioning your sanity six ways from Sunday.

Apparently, there’s doin’s a-transpirin’ that’ll bring those horrible, horrible Osbournes back out of whatever basement room they were locked in (seriously, has anyone even seen Sharon lately?  Ozzy’s hawking World of Warcraft, and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if they sacrificed Jack to Satan so Ozzy could get the endorsement deals.) between television appearances and put them behind the wheel of their own VARIETY SHOW. You know, the kind that Rosie O’Donnell managed to burn beyond recognition when it was on for one whole episode about a month ago?

I cringe.  Truly I do.  I got more than enough of misbehaving dogs and mushmouthed former rockers with children that pretty much make the case for eugenics by their merest existence back when The Osbournes was still a thing.  The last thing my poor sanity needs is to get the Osbournes Reloaded.

That’s what they’re calling it.  Osbournes Reloaded.  Like they needed loaded in the first place.

History shows again and again…how nature points out the folly of man.

So the smoke is still clearing from Ann Coulter’s recent visit to The View, in which she roundly castigated the hosts, launched into a lengthy tirade against pretty much everything but especially to single mothers, proved to us all that Barbara Walters can STILL kick butt, and asserted Whoopi Goldberg’s place in history as the woman who defused a raging psychopath through the power of the almighty cut-to-commercial.

But in the aftermath, I’m left wondering–why do people / news shows / what have you continue to feed the uber-troll that is Ann Coulter?  Is it a ratings thing?  This wackjob in heels manages to continue to sell book after book of her raging screeds with seemingly no end in sight.  If that’s what’s going on here, then I sorrow for entertainment in general.  With every Ann Coulter unleashed on the world stage, civil public discourse goes a little farther down the way of the dinosaur.

And that might be the biggest loss to our country yet.

Not busted as if she’s trying to do her best impression of Lindsay Lohan busted, so don’t worry, your favorite cheerleader has her squeaky clean image intact. Hayden Panettiere was recently busted and subsequently escorted out of a 21 and over club because, well, she isn’t 21. Yes, it’s shocking that a club in New York would boot a celebrity, after all, former underaged drinkers like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears never seemed to have a problem getting in and getting served, but the NV Club in New York has a different take.

Panettiere and a gaggle of girls reportedly entered the club through an employee entrance to see John Turco perform when bouncers spotted the underage starlet. Then, something unheard of happened…they actually escorted her to the door. Not only that, but they took her license on the spot, apparently a law in New York. The drama doesn’t end there though as the 19-year old had to call the local police and make a statement in order to get her license back. She needed it to hop a plane the next day with her 31-year old boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia en route to their French Polynesian getaway in Bora Bora. Don’t feel bad if you don’t recognize his name off the bat, he’s the guy who plays her uncle Peter on “Heroes”. At least Hayden could feel all grown up sipping adult beverages while vacationing with him in Bora Bora. The legal drinking age there is 18.

Jackie Chan is in final negotiations to play Mr. Miyagi in a remake of The Karate Kid, starring Will Smith’s son Jaden (most recently seen in The Day the Earth Stood Still).  According to Variety, the film will borrow elements of the original 1984 movie but will be set in an exotic Asian locale.  Harald Zwart (The Pink Panther 2) will direct from a screenplay by Chris Murphy.

The trailer for the upcoming political drama State of Play debuted quietly over the holidays.  Starring Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams, and Helen Mirren, it tells of a reporter (Crowe) investigating the murder of the mistress of a congressman (Affleck) whom he’s old friends with.

That’s basically all you get from the trailer, but there’s actually a lot more to the story, which is a remake of a 2003 BBC miniseries.  The reporter, we find out early, is actually having an affair with the congressman’s wife (Robin Wright Penn), and in addition to the cast listed above, the movie co-stars Jeff Daniels and Jason Bateman.  Daniels is seen briefly, while Bateman and Wright aren’t even mentioned.

The project was originally set to be a reunion of Fight Club stars Brad Pitt (as the reporter) and Edward Norton (as the congressman).  Pitt dropped out just before shooting when he decided the script wasn’t ready; the scramble to find a replacement pushed the film’s schedule back, and Norton then had to drop out due to a conflict.

Check out the trailer below:

After four seasons of progressively smaller ratings, Fox entertainment president Kevin Reilly announced on the Television Critics Association tour that Prison Break would not get a fifth.  The show’s final run of episodes will air beginning in April in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles‘ Friday timeslot.

Meanwhile, in what is becoming a tradition for the network, Reilly told the press that two sci-fi pilots in development for the network are being recut.  The first is Virtuality, a space-set drama from Battlestar Galactica’s Ron Moore, which Reilly described only as “dense”; the second is Boldly Going Nowhere, a space-set comedy from the team behind It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

You might recall that Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse, a sci-fi midseason replacement set to debut in February, also had to reshoot its pilot…while Whedon’s previous project at Fox, Firefly, discarded its originally-shot pilot in favor of its second episode.

You’d think Fox would learn to take a look at the scripts of its sci-fi pilots before giving them the money to shoot…

Producers Michael Cerenzie (Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead) and Christine Peters (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) have acquired the biography Steve McQueen: Portrait of an American Rebel by Marshall Terrill in the hopes of adapting it into a big-screen biopic.  Paramount will most likely distribute.

The biography focuses mostly on McQueen’s acting career — where he became a star in classics like Bullitt (pictured right) and The Great Escape after an early start in TV and some low-budget flicks like The Blob — as well as his penchant for fast cars, drugs, and women.  He had three marriages, most notably one to Ali McGraw.  There’s no word yet on who might be cast.

Actress Radha Mitchell (Silent Hill) has joined the cast of The Crazies, a remake of the 1973 B movie directed by Night of the Living Dead’s George Romero.  The project is set up at Overture  Films and also stars Timothy Olyphant (Hitman).  Romero will retain a producing credit, but Breck Eisner (Sahara) will step in to direct.

Check out the campy trailer for the original film below.  The plot of both movies kicks off when a toxin is released into a town’s water supply that causes all the townspeople to go…crazy.