Now, I personally consider it a great day when I can start off with a joke. I’m one of those people who subscribes very firmly to the “laughter is the best medicine” approach to life–so deeply in fact that I believe I should be issued an honorary doctorate from somewhere because I am a laugh MACHINE.
Anyway, you’re almost certainly wondering by now, just WHAT is like having a plumber fix your car?
How about having Ellen DeGeneres offer to set up Anne Hathaway with a new boyfriend?
The worst part is, I’m not kidding. Ellen, clearly lesbian, has offered to help hook up the recently jilted Hathaway following some spectacular drama involving her previous boyfriend’s con game involving real estate that he pitched on the strength of a picture of him with the Pope. Apparently this worked quite well for a while until the authorities landed on him with both feet. In a move that showed Hathaway’s then-boyfriend wasn’t exactly long in the brains department, he then tried to use that same picture of himself with the Pope to bargain for decreased jail time.
Nothing like hoping lightning can strike twice, huh? Though in this case, Hathaway’s then-beau probably should’ve been more worried about it striking ONCE. Notably, him.
It’s not like Hathaway is being real discerning at this point–in response to Ellen’s offer, she said her only real requirement at this point is that “he be law-abiding”. To which I respond, Anne, I’m totally available right now, and I don’t even pull tags off mattresses. But seriously, despite Ellen’s protestations that she’s “really good at it”, I don’t exactly think that the lesbian is in the best position to find anyone a man.
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