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Stick a Fork in Kelis and Nas

3. May 2009

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Because they’re done like an Easter ham, kids. And here everyone thought their marriage was going to hold up. Publicists confirm that Kelis and Nas, once thought to be a marriage like a rock, have indeed split up. Granted, by all reports it seems to be amicable, but we don’t yet know why they [...]

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Pink Announces She’s Bisexual–Pretty Much No One Surprised

3. May 2009

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Does this come as a shock to anyone else? Seriously, does it? But it’s true–she recently made this announcement to the British publication News of the World, which really makes me think they’re stretching the title: “I’m not embarrassed about being bisexual. This is who I am. Love is pure and I try to [...]

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Swine Flu Smacks Brit Pop Group

3. May 2009

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Now, this killed me when I heard it, folks–the swine flu outbreak (scuse me, I mean H1N1, please don’t send the CDC manners cops after me!) has landed in Great Britain, and it’s hit the lead singer of the drum-and-bass group N-DUBZ with a full on case. Twenty year old Tulisa Contostavlos collapsed on a flight [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Stops The Damn Mumbling!

24. April 2009

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I don’t think in the history of tabloid celebrity bashing have I ever gotten sick of, or ever even cared about the way a celeb was getting treated by the paparazzi. But the constant negative coverage of Lindsay Lohan has just gotten old. The starlet said it herself, “My life really isn’t that interesting.” And it [...]

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Jay Leno International Fans Upset

24. April 2009

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Obviously, you can’t put timing on illness, but it would be nice if you could huh? Unfortunately that timing got a few of Jay Leno’s international fans pissed off. How? Leno is a giant! He’s big in other countries too! So if they travel all the way to L.A. and have intentions on seeing his show [...]

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Blagojevich Turns To Reality TV For a Paycheck…

24. April 2009

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Blagojevich is the guy who is being prosecuted for allegedly trying to sell President Barak Obama’s former U.S. Senate seat. Now that he is the public example of the kinds of things that the U.S. government does regularly, but we don’t know about, he’s probably trying to figure out how not to go broke. Which [...]

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The Pattinson / Stewart Hookup Rumors May Not Be Exaggerated

23. April 2009

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I know I’ve taken a lot of flack around here for being a Twilight hater, so in the interest of proving my objectivity as a pure hardcore freelance journalist, I present to you some evidence that the idea that Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are hooking up realtime is, in fact, NOT as far-fetched as [...]

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More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Jessica Simpson

23. April 2009

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Twitter is a funny little invention, folks–it’s told us a whole lot more than we ever wanted to know about our favorite celebrities, and of course, given scheming opportunistic bloggers like myself plenty of useful cannon fodder to throw out. Including nuggets of joy like THIS; “On my way to workout with my trainer. Every time we [...]

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Alicia Silverstone Coming Back…For Clueless Sequel??

23. April 2009

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You’ve GOT to be kidding me. Okay, look–I remember Clueless, all right?  I was neck-deep in my sophomore year of high school when that thing blasted out into theatres and turned EVERYONE into some kind of insane Beverly Hills wannabe for twenty minutes. So you can imagine my shock when I picked up on THIS number: “They were [...]

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Terrence Howard STILL Upset Over Iron Man 2

23. April 2009

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You know, Terrence…buddy…I can understand how you’re hurt over getting aced out for the sequel to the biggest cash cow / buddy flick / comic book movie franchise in decades.  I know you’re hurt that Don Cheadle’s taking over for you.  I know that your wallet is practically committing suicide over the fact that it’ll [...]

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Slumdog Millionaire Cast Member Almost Sold To Undercover Reporter

21. April 2009

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…and then, there was light at the end of the tunnel. Remember how I was feeling all down about missing out on The Great Celebrity Twitter War?  I was hoping for something big and stupid from perennial faves Miley Cyrus or Rob Pattinson, but man, did I find something BETTER! The father of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina [...]

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The Great Celebrity Twitter War Has Already Ended

21. April 2009

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And for those of you who were wondering who’d come out ahead, no, Anonymous did NOT manage to put Josef Fritzl to the top of the Twitter heap.  To be fair, they really started too late to do that much good. But no, it was Ashton Kutcher who emerged triumphant, fully first to one million fans.  [...]

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Gwyneth Paltrow Likes It When You Suffer, Peon

21. April 2009

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In a move that may well actually explain pretty much everything about Gwyneth Paltrow, including the existence of her GOOP mag that no one really cares about, Gwyneth related a story through said useless rag that just really takes the taco.  Dig the word: “This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was [...]

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Easter Morning At Casa Lohan–No Eggs, Just A Brawl

21. April 2009

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So I’m really actually genuinely feeling BAD for Lindsay Lohan now–dumped by her lesbian girlfriend, left high and dry by her friends, her family using her for a meal ticket…apparently now she’s back on the drugs like no tomorrow. Bright one Easter morning, when most families are thinking church and brunch out, or possibly a ham [...]

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Jackie Chan Would Prefer If You Were Enslaved By Your Government, Thanks

21. April 2009

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Oh Jackie…we expected so much more from you.  We really did.  But when you came out over the weekend spouting ridiculous lines like: “With too much freedom … it can get very chaotic, could end up like in Taiwan.” Then he tasted a little MORE shoe leather with: “I’m gradually beginning to feel that we Chinese need to [...]

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