The 16 Struggles of Growing Up In A Big Italian Family
There are a lot of misconceptions about Italian people — from mob ties to Jersey Shore connections, you’ve heard ’em all! But in reality, growing up in a big Italian family presents struggles that no one could possibly understand unless, of course, they also lived it. So for all you Italian Americans out there, this one’s for you:
1. Family functions are loud, headache-inducing events. While most family get-togethers are nice ways to catch up, yours inevitably turn into ‘Who can talk the loudest?’ contests.
2. Someone is always mad at someone else. And you somehow always end up in the middle of whatever silly argument is going on.
3. Your family reunions can never be held in someone’s back yard. LOL — there’s no way all of you would fit out there! A banquet hall is more like it…
4. You’ve gotten enough questions about being on Jersey Shore to last you a lifetime. NO you’re not related to Snooki — she’s not even Italian!
5. It takes you at least 20 minutes to say goodbye to your family. Which means you’re never really leaving when you say you are.
6. Your mom force feeds your friends whenever they come over. It doesn’t matter if they tell her they just ate a huge lunch, she still brings them plates of food.
7. And she force feeds you, too. So much for that diet you were planning on going on…
8. Your friends never understand what you’re saying. For the last time — calamari is pronounced gal-a-mar.
9. Trying to not confuse all your uncles with the same name is a daily challenge. And their names are probably Joe/Vinny/Tony.
10. And so is trying to keep all your aunts with random nicknames straight. “Wait, is she Little Mary or Big Mary? Around the Corner Anna or Up the Road Anna?”
11. You’ve knocked something over while aggressively talking with your hands. You just can’t help it! How else are you supposed to successfully communicate your feelings?
12. You’ve suffered numerous burns from canning tomatoes. Or, if your nonna doesn’t let you by the fire, you’ve cut yourself while chopping them.
13. Grandparents always guilt tripping you for not coming over more. Even though you see them at least three times a week.
14. You can never enjoy Italian food at a restaurant. Because, LBR, nothing is better than your family’s sauce and meatballs. And don’t even get me started on Olive Garden…
15. While people were eating Wonder Bread in school, you were eating Semolina rolls. And you probably had to explain why your sandwich looked like it did.
16. You could never make plans on Sundays because you had family dinners. And missing a Sunday family dinner was not an option.