Internet Star Secretly Battled an Eating Disorder for Years & You Had No Idea

By  | 

To her 9+ million followers on Instagram, Alexis Ren seems to have the perfect life. The 20-year-old is known for being one of the most beautiful people in the world, travelling to the most amazing destinations and dating a model named Jay Alvarez. But while the girl appears to have everything going for her on the outside, things on the inside were falling apart for a very long time. The Instagrammer first starting touching on the subject of an eating disorder back in April when she tweeted, “I was in a toxic state of mind, and I’m so grateful to be out of that f*cking mindset. I am now healthy and able to eat full meals without guilt. I work out because I love it…not to punish myself.” But she never fully went into detail about what she meant…until now.

Alexis traveled to Australia for a few months shortly after her mom died when she was 18 years old, and when she returned home her modeling agency noticed that she gained some weight. They suggested that she start working out, which made her feel “so out of control.” That’s when her issues with food and exercise really began.

“I was my worst critic ever,” she told Cosmopolitan magazine. “The only sense of relief I had was to be able to monitor my eating and my workouts.”

Things got worse as her career started taking off, because she was traveling SO frequently and wasn’t able to maintain her strict diet.

“It was a vicious cycle where when I did eat, I just felt worse, so I didn’t want to eat, and ate less and less and less. I was scared of food.”

Eventually, Alexis “got point where [she] was like, ‘OK, I’ve got to change because this is not working,'” and she decided to get help. She began working with Maggie Tanielian, a certified personal trainer and health nutritional coach, who helped her develop a better mindset around food and exercise. Now, the model is happier than ever before and wants fans to know that “it’s okay to not be okay.”

These 15 celebs also overcame an eating disorder: